Nonviolent Communication (NVC)

Why Practice Nonviolent Communication?

Improve communication quality by ==valuing everyone's needs==. ==Doubt and violence are manifestations of unmet needs==.

What NVC Is Not

• It is not about appearing friendly.
• It is not about getting others to do what we want; it concerns mutual understanding between people.

Ways to Strengthen Connections and Understanding Between People

1. Express our feelings and needs vulnerably
   • Recognize ongoing feelings and needs
   • Expose the vulnerability of feelings and needs
2. Actively listen to the feelings and needs of others
   • The core of empathetic listening: presence, focus, space, and care, ==along with verbal expression of feelings and needs==
   • Do not give advice, make judgments, comfort, tell stories, sympathize, analyze, or explain, ...
   • Regardless of what is said, the key is to listen to the other person's feelings, needs, opinions, and requests

For example: ==Because you need... so you feel...?==

Engaging in These Behaviors Can Lead to Distance Between Us

• Evaluating others, making judgments, labeling, analyzing, criticizing, comparing, etc.
• Worth considering (i.e., certain behaviors deserve punishment or reward)
  • Demands (not accepting others' choices; wanting to punish those who do not act according to one's own ideas)
  • Refusing to choose or take responsibility (keywords: have to, should have, guess they will, they made me do it, etc.)